How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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