You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
