On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize