By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
