Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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