just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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