He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Congratulations! We have a period
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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