I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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