Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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