sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize