5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
