Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
