You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
