i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize