for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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