Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
