I want to walk on stilts...naked
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i've created a new STD.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
