Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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