Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The uberlube is also flammable
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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