my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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