I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
