We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
