The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
