so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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