We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
