It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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