I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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