the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
