I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
