Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
