the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
