and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
