How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize