your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
