your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
