Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
