Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
