the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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