Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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