In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
