if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
