i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
