I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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