so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
