why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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