I am spending my child support on dildos
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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