It's Friday. Sex?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
