i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
