I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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