Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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