apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
