Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
