A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Where did you get a picture of my penis
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
