I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
