bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
