lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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