i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
