No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
did you just send me my own nude
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize