dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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