i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's always time for handjobs
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
