WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize