i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
as a side note pls kill me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize