so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just high enough for therapy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
