dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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