I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
