Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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