is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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