so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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