bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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