The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
