Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize