when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
