honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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