I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
