Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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